Addiction Retrospective

Now I look back
I can easily see the deception
The feelings that were driving me have left
Gone to trouble someone else
Leaving me to see you for what you are

You’re handsome – that’s your disguise
Evil is written on your face in beauty
What kind of place is this
Beauty, who turned you into a liar?
Now you’ve corrupted the whole world

Well, at least I have changed
I see your reality
Through my Truth tinted spectacles
You put me through so much
I can’t believe I fell for you

Wisdom – where were you when I needed help
You left me; I was conned by my own heart
Tell me hindsight, where were you
Remaining cruelly in the future
I have some words for you

Switching Addiction

Now my addiction has moved on from the prior; no longer in denial
Still with life altering habits but not faltering; no longer a buyer
Untangling the barbed wire, I found something higher
Before the consequences were dire but now – like Friar Tuck I’m in simple attire

I was preoccupied with an immediate gratifier
A modifier of truth – so I would perspire, call my supplier
Surrender my entire mind to a filthy liar
His words seemed to inspire me – but all they brought was fire

My feelings were twisted; used like pliers to remove my hearts desires
I got life-jacked by a beast; I was an occupier
Of a broken mind; my freedom was for hire
I had admired evil but now I know his style

On that road my wisdom got a flat tyre
Set to expire; I was a fake like Mrs Doubtfire
But I learnt to enquire, called a cease-fire
Now I aspire to a use what I discovered; expose that liar

So I’m off to a flier – changing everything to Reacquire
My future. The past was an appetiser – poisonous but the main course is pure
You can’t acquire a tune when the piano wire is round your neck, squire
Return it to it’s place; rewire your brain while there’s still tread on your tyre

If you think I’m only talking drugs here friend, think again, I’m in a different choir
That’s just one part of this mess; we are caught in the cross-fire of every destructive desire
That conspires against us; drugs are killers but don’t forget that evil hires
Many different tools to destroy our lives; we each have a part to play in his demise

This knowledge wasn’t prior – but it’s here now; The news-wire
Has arrived – we dropped the hair dryer in the bath and the world’s on fire
Let me shout through the amplifier of everything that has transpired
Death is the backdrop to this life, people – what more proof do we require

Please listen friend, I know you want to be a high-flier; live-wire
But don’t you sell yourself to that evil-eyer
Stalking you with one desire; cause you to misfire
Break your life and leave you in the mire

We are lighting the fires on our own funeral pyres
Reap what you sow is simple logic; don’t acquire bad things
Come with Him; walk the high-wire; or do you still think
That bad is good and good is bad – that’s the trip-wire; the world is such a liar

Addiction

Someone new
You meet – exchange some words
There’s nothing wrong
No sense of danger

You talk without thinking
Conversation flows
Before long friendship lives
Deep inside, unseen, unnoticed, things are connecting

Soon you are comfortable
Still unaware
You are happy, or
Still tidy; you hair has been brushed

Now a new thought has spoken
Things are ok, aren’t they?
This friend is to taking you
To places you’re not sure you like

It starts moving faster
Or has it been gradual all along
You’re so angry
But you don’t seem to care

You were only doing what you wanted
Isn’t liberty a good thing
You know you have been deceived
Has your freedom killed itself

How Much

Tell me
How much sex do you need
Until you have enough
So you can hear its voice saying
I won’t fulfil your life

Tell me
How much pain do you need
Until you have enough
So you can hear its voice saying
Something is wrong here

Tell me
How much money do you need
Until you have enough
So you can hear its voice saying
I don’t love you

Tell me
How much proof do you need
Until you have enough
So you can hear its voice saying
There must be another Way

Contradiction Man

If you thought yesterday was bad
Let me tell you some more
Although if you told me to listen
I probably wouldn’t

You see:

If someone tells me
Something’s wrong
I say
Don’t be stupid

When they tell me
Everything’s alright
I find something
That isn’t

If they tell me
I can’t have something
I’ll probably take it
Or get my own

But if they say
I can have it or even – I need it
That’s the last thing
I’m going to get

I doubt the truth
But I believe lies

The more I want to stop doing certain things
The more I seem to crave them

I remember to forget
The things I don’t want to do
But I forget to remember
What got me into that situation in the first place
So I carry on

I have compassion for bad people
That I don’t know
But if someone good that I love
Does something wrong
They’d better apologise

I like people I don’t know
But have no time for my friends

When I was poor
I had practically nothing
I made do – worked hard
Had no possessions
Was happy – fit and healthy
I prospered

Then people felt sorry for me
Gave me money
I got richer – worked less
Bought ‘good’ things
They took my happiness – I became corrupted
Now I’m a mess

Sweet things
Make me bitter
And bitter things
Make me sweet

I diet and put on weight
I sleep and get tired
Relaxing winds me up
Stress makes me feel at home – That’s my life

I know God is here
But I can’t see Him
He never changes
But I experience Him differently each day

He made me sad
To bring me to happiness
He broke me
To build me up

Now I love God
With all my heart
But I continue to fill my heart
With things God hates

It seems that
The things that are so ‘good’
Can be worse
Than the bad things that turn out to be
Just what the doctor ordered

I find that the closer I get to the Truth
The further I get from my reality

At least my contradictions agree with each other
But if they don’t
I guess you’re getting to know me
I’m contradiction man

Still Broken

They call you hollow man
A mist of lies
Descended on your world
You bought a magic trick
Slight of hand
You didn’t see; he touched your mind
Still you – but just an image now
A barren tree
So many branches – beautiful
But each one dead
That’s your life
You’re still broken

They call you wasted youth
Lost everything
To a conman
Dressed in pure white
He sold you clouds
But they’ve never rained
All they contain
Are whispered lies
That fall onto your life
And so you listen
That what happens in this fallen world
You’re still broken

They call you black and white
You fell from grace
Colour stolen from your face
A lifeless figure took your place
A map of what you used to be
And could have been
Is standing in your life
That’s the story of this messed up land
Poison draws you with it’s sweet perfume
The choice is yours
Will you stop or keep on drinking
You’re still broken

They call him counterfeit
The one who came to turn your head
Only seen by tracks of pain
Across the lives
Of countless bloodshot eyes
Who should have known
But didn’t know
Broken calls to broken
In this shadow of a greater place
You must escape
But who will help you
You’re still broken

Money – Part 3

I don’t want to go on and on, like the gossip in hair salon
Just want to empty my heart of this God given burden
To try and explain with words the invisible world that is hurting us like Genghis Kahn
This is real life; so much rubbish has gone on, we have a duty to try and understand what’s going on

Like it or not, we’ve got to face the fact something really is wrong
Who could imagine the things that go on, everyday while we all look on
Helpless, cause our hands are tied by money; or, if not, tell me what has come upon
Us – to make us behave like Don Juan- these words are strong but it’s been far too long

So what is this invisible breeze that’s blustering and flustering
Our minds, so we are covering the world with such a mix of evil happenings
Something that is hovering and puncturing our moral code so that we go plundering
Wandering and pandering to a force that is driving us to live a life of suffering

Who climbed the fence, made us blind and stole our common sense
We must dispense some truth and grasp the ruthless attitude of us so called gents
I’m not speaking in the future tense; this is now, current events
Are passing by, the contents of which bring tears to the eyes, it just doesn’t make sense

Aren’t we made of dust; that’s where are bodies go when we die
So what are these feelings that fill us and make us cheat and lie
Give us the desire to buy so many things we don’t need and then cry
If we don’t get our own way; something is effecting us; tell me why

Do we think we’re in the end-zone, when we get an expensive car, big home
We need to understand, life’s about relationships not what we own
I know this is bone of contention, I don’t care, my intention is for us disown
All these feelings and motives that we give in to in this combat zone

I don’t want to lead us on; thinking money is what’s wrong, that would not be fair
We’ve already said, money isn’t real; is just numbers whispered in the air
The problem is we listen and we compare and no-one get’s their proper share
Of what they should have or require; freedom’s here but no one seems to care enough to find out where

We must master that desire we get, that fire that set’s us alight when we think we might
Get our hands on our heart’s delight – what a sight; a race of people quite
Set on killing each other just because they can’t understand how to live right
I won’t sit by silent, we have to learn to fight the good fight and end this plight

So get your camera, go and take some pictures of the suffering that’s going on
Put them on your wall and use them to help you put on a new heart on and sing a different song
Let’s fix the problems we have, leave the old way, surely we can come upon
A solution, are we capable of changing ourselves; maybe not but I know a Man who can

Money – Part 2

Tell me brethren, are you bothering to listen to this pondering
Money, if you were wandering, doesn’t exist aside from our accounting
A great system but effectively amounting to a tool we use for squandering
Our futures and laundering dirty wealth so the unjust can go on prospering

What I’m trying to say is this currency isn’t real, but somehow we use it to steal
The futures of so many people; wheel and deal real lives cause they sell themselves for a single meal
Tell me; why don’t we hold the same zeal to undo this raw-deal
As the feeling we conceal for stainless-steel exhausts, high-heeled shoes and alloy wheels

The world is full of numbers on computers and paper telling you who is greater
Not a reflection of true labour or a list of good behaviour
Just a dictator of who gets what; a blessing calculator
Not love your neighbour; love your trader – as long as he’s a money maker

Now, money alone is nothing and I‘m no guru, it’s just what we do
When we see those numbers accrue, we forget morals; what wouldn’t we do
For riches, don’t misconstrue what I’m saying but it’s time we came to
Our senses, money’s not a cut through, to a happy me and you

Unglue your mind from that world view, just for a second would you
Listen to someone who knew, how many masters have you got
Two; can’t pursue them both friend, time you withdrew from you-know-who
Blew out the numbers; they won’t get you through in lieu of the One who makes you new

Money – Part 1

Help me understand – Does it exist, this paper promised land
Just because you can hold it in your hand; slips through like sand
Green and white rectangles; the numbers say ‘five hundred grand’
But when I got there, at the checkpoint as planned – it was empty, unmanned

Still, it’s loved by everyone – you and me – replaced trust long ago as human currency
Money brings life – freedom to move for those with fiscal fluency
You work, get paid; that’s great – but how did we build a system where prosperity
Is strictly a minority, half the world is starving in the shadow of our obesity – that is heresy

We scrap purity for piracy, mutter incoherently about our needs for security
All the time our dependency on getting what we want is growing – line our nest, forget the rest – No parody
My dog needs expensive clothes and hydrotherapy – to help him be a badge that will display my insecurity
That’s the legacy, wasting people’s lives on things that are inherently nonsense – This is lunacy

We wax lyrically about our needs and rights but morally we seem to have a tendency
To do anything for wealth; that desperate urgency for easy life results in tyranny
We buy and sell the lives of others with regularity, on the markets we create to trade dishonesty
Now we’re lost, we’ve breached the warranty of what’s right, for popularity – hilarity but it’s true – pure depravity

Polarity of black and white; greyed – now that’s normality
We were human – not now – we let humanity disappear into a cloud of spiritual profanity
There must be change, not gradually but now, this world’s a casualty
Physically we have solutions but we need to change mentality – but how – has something good come out of Galilee

Concrete World

Countryside
Trees and fields
Rivers running into oceans
Nature working; a world that is alive
So much life

Humans
Changing what they want to
Landscaping truth to meet desires
For better – or for worse
Definitely changing

Spirit world
Purest life in Freedom’s hand
Perfect in simplicity and trust
Relationships; sharing love together
So much life

People
Changing things because they can
Re-routing streams of living water
Paving over morals – Concreting over life
Now it’s different

Future
Twisted world; damaged hearts and minds
Destruction taking over
Cause we chase it – like it’s a good thing
That’s not life

Jesus Christ
He is different; He’s not normal
You love Him or you hate Him
But He’s the One – He’s the answer; if you want it
Bringing Life

After

After we have lived this life that we continually choose to make, in spite of so much good advice

After all those choices, given in love – have been snatched by broken hands and thrown in Wisdom’s face – and Wisdom, being what She Is, turned them around and used them for our good

After pride and envy and greed and every other destructive thing have finally shown themselves for what they really are

After the last hiding place of every evil motive has been revealed by the acts of all the players in this game of life and death

After lies told have travelled far enough to reach the place from where they first were born

After we have journeyed through arid deserts and scorched our feet on the smoking shards of every broken promise

After we have paid the price – the debts of those we never knew – but didn’t learn and passed them on to any other life in reach

After we have daubed the walls of history with the unbearable colours of damaged and wretched souls

After countless failures and seemingly endless walks of shame have worn us down until we’ve reached the place where we decide to change

After we have travelled so far and realised that we haven’t moved an inch – and we have stopped and heard Him knocking and finally let Him in

After the fires of this world have raged, fuelled by all the terrible things that we have done but somehow He turned that into the very thing causes growth and then – nothing but fertile ground remains in perfect silence

After these human seeds have faced the waters of so much rain, Wonderful Gardener always there, and then become the flowers that He had always known

After we have passed through flames and, lives weighed, been given all the treasure that He desires to give

After all is said and done, and all the endless balls of humanity’s tangled lives have been unravelled, and we are kneeling bare and still – then we will know Him and the darkness of this world will be seen in the light of everything that we will have become

After all that, then we will really know what True Life is and the Way it comes to be

Priorities

We live in a world of many options
We have minds full of thoughts and many different notions
Dreaming of future vocations, making relations
Living life to the max and retiring with a pension

But what does life consist of; what’s your true perception
How about a nice house and 2 or 3 vacations
Buy a car, play golf, work hard and earn some cash
That’s fine; but tell me, have you ever eaten someone’s trash

In this time, countless people live in degradation
No clothes, no shoes, no food, lacking life vital medication
Let alone a car or house or any education
And all the while the wealthy struck by self-fixation

It’s good to work hard and have some life
You can’t put that down, A man can have a wife
And a family and live, but evil in this world is rife
Just maybe, more of our hearts should be focused on the after-life

Innocence is so far gone, there’s no time for pretence
The world’s in desperate need of Truth and common sense
While we sit on the fence and evil stays intense
Our conscience should be smashed, God must be incensed

So this is about priorities, what we do each day
We have to meet our needs, time won’t give way
But so many need medicine and food or they will die
We have it but it seems we’d rather say goodbye

Tell me: Desperate people or Desperate Housewives
What do we love more; the truth is written with our lives
Much good is done but so much more is calling
We have the power of God with us so why are we stalling

We shouldn’t play the blame game or wallow in shame
But could it be that there’s another way to play life’s game
Maybe the answer to our own spiritual needs and lives
Is found in helping others live – that’s life that thrives

Pain

Can you explain pain
Physical and mental bane
Unwanted guest in man’s domain
Giving eye-strain to the humane and the inhumane

Why engrain us with this ball and chain
Hurt’s ad campaign, unfriendly heavy-weather vane
Is there a reason I walk with a cane
Or does the pain in my world fall in vain

What’s the game; restrain my reign
Retrain the human brain with acid rain
It’s driving me insane; top of the food chain
Yet pain has free-rein on my mental plane

I don’t aim to profane the things beyond my brain
Just want to feel sane; I’m a link in a chain
Where many have it sweet like sugar cane
And many others have to slash their feet on sharp terrain

Pain, is it needed to maintain life in the human-lane
Not an oil stain but a language that contains
Instructions to refrain from doing things that bring disdain
A map of good and bad terrain; part of our moral grain

Do we build houses on flood-plains for financial gain
And then blame pain for clouding up life’s maintain range
Do we rob the poor and needy to buy private planes
And drink champagne – then blame the shame on pain

If you remain on the tracks of the freight train
It will hit you. Refrain, reach out to people caught in pain
Through the fault of others; this is not some arcane brain-drain
It comes when things are wrong; life speaks through pain

Greed

Greed, a false friend that lies at high speed
You concede, mount the steed
Then, the more you get, the more you need
What you have will never exceed the feeling, guaranteed

Once you proceed to cross-breed with that fallen seed
Wisdom’s gone, She’d spoken but you disagreed
You ran full speed, not paying heed
Watch the sweat bead as you smoke the devil’s weed

Greed, made to mislead our breed, impede life, no misread
Men force-feed geese while tiny babies die in need
Who agreed to spoon-feed lies while love recedes
We need to plead with God to be found and freed

We’d better reread the creed and stop this stampede
This greed is deadly, we’ve been played like piano keys
Teed up like Sam Snead, we spend trillions but can’t meet the basic need
Of billions of people, some succeed but many sift through bins to feed

He would help us change this dreadful deed, evil will cede
To His decree, but He won’t break a bruised reed
Good will supersede, So take His lead
It’s time to find that mustard seed

Self-Control

Self-Control; arch enemy of the modern soul
Nemesis of fun, cork in the blow-hole
Call of the loser, so we fit the mould
Set the world to cruise control and let the good times roll

Who slipped in; breached border control
Which fallen beings broke parole
Spiked the punchbowl and burned the sacred scroll
We bent to drink and got ambushed at the water-hole

Now, what’s the goal of your eternal soul
A future role or sticking your finger in the ozone-hole
Take control, there’s no entry to the book of life by deed-poll
Don’t trade the gift of life to dance around some totem pole

So what, you got rich, piled up stacks of gold
But your heart became a black-hole, like charcoal
Burnt to dust and sprinkled on the steps of shoel
Enrol? I wouldn’t touch it with a barge-pole

Self-control is king, the way to roll
Do you want life, or do you eat from your dog’s bowl
Don’t drop your guard and lower your goal
He came from God, to save your soul

No pretence, no drum-roll for His title-role
Foxes have holes but He just strolled
White as the North Pole, a pure heart and soul
To bring true beauty: the Spirit of self-control